Mayra and I were reading this very sweetly intentioned post about 12 great ways to pop the question. Some of them were wonderful, but some of them didn’t seem to fit the needs of a city dwelling man looking to do something creative. (One involved a house, not an apartment and another involved a lawn and neighbors). And one of them was down right creepy (it involved convincing the girlfriend to sit on Santa’s lap and tell her that she was on the nice list…. ) Most of them were holiday related, which I think is great, since so many guys decide to propose at this time of year.. but holiday related needn’t mean hokey. The truth is, the perfect proposal probably SHOULDN’T be something that could work for another guy looking to wed some other girl… if it’s perfect, it should be bespoke not pret-a-porter. Soooo, rather than offer up ideas, here are tips on ways to think about this to get it get right. Gentleman reader,whoever you are, no thanks necessary. Ladies, get ready to casually leave this window open on your laptop while you get up to get a glass of water and take a really long time doing so!
1. Try and remember something that she has always casually mentioned or even “joked” about loving… I.e. a scavenger hunt or an affinity for a petting zoo? Does she love the ballet? I had posted some pics of one of our grooms surprising his bride with a hot air balloon because she had always joked that she wanted to be “taken away on a hot air balloon”… that would have also been a really awesome proposal. Any reference to a wild fantasy or something random that she thinks you probably didn’t notice will be a huge success.
2. Do it as publicly or privately as you think that she would be comfortable with. If she is a drama queen or loves PDA, then the center court proposal at the Knicks game might be perfect. If she cringes when she sees OTHER people doing that in the privacy of your own home while watching a game, then perhaps NOT the move for her. Something can be private and still be memorable.
3. Think about every day things that she likes to do and see how you can surprise her within her routine. For instance, I personally walk to work over the Brooklyn Bridge pretty often. If I had a boyfriend and he were going to propose to me, it would be pretty amazing if he surprised me by waiting on the bridge for me… not that I’ve thought about this or anything! Or, for instance, we had one client that used to go to OTTO all the time and he had them prepare the meal that they always got at the restaurant, but in their apartment and it was waiting for her when they got home. It doesn’t need to be earth shattering, but if it makes her feel like “Oh my goodness, he really pays attention!” it will go a long way.
4. Don’t be afraid to ask for help pulling something off. Be it random people on the street, or the manager of a venue where you want to get on stage and make a production out of something. Friends and family can also be helpful in the planning stages… provided they can keep a secret!
5. Don’t wing it! Your excitement to do it and say the right thing and the feeling of the ring being just about to burst from your pocket MIGHT be overwhelming, BUT it’s better to go in with a plan of action… even a casual plan of action.
Coming from one of the “Gentleman readers”, great advice! I just popped the question a month ago. In my opinion, the key to a memorable proposal is making it personal. On our four year anniversary, I sent my fiancée on a scavenger hunt to one of her favorite places around town for each year we dated, re-giving her the gifts she got for the first three anniversaries, then recreating our first date (the same Starbucks drinks we drank) on her patio for the fourth locale. It was personal, fun, and most of all memorable. Good luck to all you guys who’ll be proposing during the holidays!
Thanks for the tips…they are really useful
Great advice! I am a Marriage Proposal Planner and I love your first tip!