5th Annual Resolutions for the Newly Engaged

Three years ago I did a post that was pretty popular about Resolutions for newbie Brides-to-Be!  I thought it would be fitting to re-post it, AND, because we live and we learn, I’ve added a couple more.  Please feel free to add your New Bride Resolutions in the comments section!!!

Happy New Year Brides to Be!!! Rather than take any questions today, I wanted to take a chance to share good wishes and hopefully, some good advice.  There are a lot of you newbie engaged ladies out there, and as you start a new year as the future Mrs. So-and-So, here are some Bridolutions for you to consider adopting in 2008 2009 2010 2011  2013 to keep wedding planning FUN in those moments of STRESS.  Congratulations!

1. Resolve to not lose sight of the Day After the Wedding. And I’m not talking about your post wedding brunch! You are marrying the most amazing person! You are lucky to have each other.  After the cake is cut, the gifts are packed the the adorable favors taken home, you guys will have one another. So while the wedding is important, remember the next day is the real start of your new lives!  If you keep
that in mind, you’ll inevitably have MUCH more fun planning it all.

2. Resolve to be a gracious bride.

Oh, these people will MAKE YOUR CRAZY at times.  Bridesmaids WILL be selfish at times and guests will sometimes pull some CRAZY, wacky stuff (what do you mean you want to bring your cousin and her 3 kids?????) BUT, if you keep your head above the fray and remember to be GRACIOUS and thankful, your memories of your engagement will be MUCH sweeter. No one likes a Bridezilla, not even herself! (Seriously, I can’t tell you how many past bridezillas have called me months later to say “I’m not really like that!”)

3. Resolve to Compromise (Sometimes). It’s your day your way, but when arguments arise with Mom or In-laws or DH, sometimes its better (and easier) to stop, drop and roll.  No, you don’t want to hire a band that your MIL loves or wear a dress just because your mom picked it out, but would it KILL you to have a menu card?  Probably not. Would a monogrammed napkin totally ruin the aesthetic of your wedding? Not really.  Don’t sweat the totally small stuff, and you’ll be able to put your foot down when it REALLY Matters.

4.  Resolve to Trust your Team. Do your due diligence before you hire a vendor (Recommendations, ask around about them, look them up in magazines or online, check on insurance, etc) and then STOP DOUBTING them.  If you have hired a true professional, they will care about doing an amazing job almost as much as you do.  Energy, Negative, draining energy is constantly wasted Fretting over vendors who are
already contracted.  Remember, every vendor is a pro, but also a human, and negative questioning has never extracted top performance, in my experience.

5. Resolve to Stick to Your Schedule. I have to go to the gym 5 or 6 times a week not to act like a crazy Rhymes with Witch around the office.  I know that about myself, so I have a schedule and I discipline myself to follow it.  If you (or your planner) has set up a schedule for planning tasks and chores for your, STICK TO IT.  It’s easy to let work and life derail you, but the more you spread out the TASKS of planning the wedding, the easier it is to NOT BE OVERWHELMED. Hire people in a timely manner, don’t drag out the process and stay on top of thank you notes and your registry.  Work is very important, but you MUST prioritize your wedding as well.

6. Resolve to See the Big Picture. Read item 1, read Item 2 and combine.  If you find yourself freaking out 6 months from now over a ribbon trim, stop, walk around the block, or your desk, and ask yourself why?  Maybe it’s not about the ribbon, and your annoyed that your fiance doesn’t care about the details you care about. Maybe you’re exhausted of making decisions.  Maybe you need a little break. But remember, a ribbon is still a ribbon. It’s one tiny element that helps make the picture of your day: a painting stroke in the masterpiece of your wedding.  It will not RUIN the image.  Step back, see how great everything else is and move forward.

7.  Resolve to Accept Possible Setbacks. Don’t take this as an omen, or as a “wait for shoe to drop”, please ladies, but sometimes there are random setbacks.  I’ve had a wedding that needed to be relocated 8 weeks before the big day.  Once, they put up a scaffold in front of a client’s venue the DAY before the wedding without anyone (even the venue) knowing.  A friend’s MOH was put on bedrest and she wasn’t able to be at the wedding.  They sound like horror stories, but ultimately, none of these things RUINED anyone’s wedding.  And remember that, girls and boys. Sometimes, life’s complications sneak into wedding world. But they will not and cannot ruin your dream day!

HERE IS MY ADD ON for 2009

8. Resolve to Do What You Can Afford. You aren’t going to win any awards by having the world’s largest wedding that you go into debt for. Assess what you can afford and commit yourself to having a reception that fits into that goal.  Don’t be afraid to re-think what the wedding needs to be: maybe it’s a breakfast or brunch instead of dinner, or dessert reception with dancing.

And my new one for 2010

9. Resolve to Celebrate who YOU guys both ARE. This doesn’t need to conflict with resolving to compromise, but listen, you only do this once…. If you guys are quirky, don’t be afraid to be QUIRKY. If you are formal, be FORMAL.  Celebrate Culture, Celebrate Faith, Celebrate the things that made you love one another.  If you are enjoying your party, so will your guests, so make it something you would love to attend. Resolve to have it be the kind of celebration that you guys would ACTUALLY host.  If you would never have a sit down formal dinner, no one is telling you that you have to…. AND if you would NEVER have a low key cocktail party… well, consider cutting your guest list until you can have the kind of fabulous celebration you can swing…

My 2011 Add on:

10. Remember, PERSONAL is not generic and INSPIRING doesn’t mean replicating. Somewhere, personalizing a wedding (making it seem reflective of your personalities and unique to the two of you) got confused with slapping a monogram on anything that was imprintable and replicating every cute idea seen around the blogosphere.  Use blogs to INSPIRE, but try, really try to make it personal. It will pay off. If you are doing a photo booth, what are props you could use say something about the two of you?  Maybe a handle-bar moustache speaks volumes about the two of you, but maybe two hockey sticks might say even more. :-)

Brides!  Enjoy this special, magical time in your lives!!!!  Enjoy this wonderful year where you wave your ring finger around and get constant manicures!!!! It’s special and FUN!  Happy 2013 Looking forward to getting your questions this year!  Remember email for advice, getting started tips, vendor recs, or whatever, to or check the archives to see if we may have hit your question before!

What do you resolve as you embark on 2013

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