The holiday weekend approaches and somehow I find myself alone in the office, reminiscing on wedding weekends past!  Since I won’t be blogging for the rest of the weekend, I thought I’d leave you guys with part one of two from one of our favorite weddings of the Season- Sara and Trevor’s Asian fusion wedding celebration as shot by Karen Wise.  I had posted Sara’s Inspiration to Actuality with some hints of what the wedding looked like a few weeks ago, but today, I’m breaking out (almost) the whole enchilada.

Sara’s family is originally from China, and so it was very important that we incorporate a full-fledged tea ceremony into their wedding day.  The more that we thought about it, the more we felt it would be beneficial to start the day off with the tea ceremony for only their immediate families and the wedding party, then take a short break for guests to rest and change before the more traditionally “Western” ceremony later that evening at Studio 450.  We had toyed with using hotel suites for this part of the day, but ultimately decided that their home would be best, and more homey.

Sara started the day in her red Chinese wedding gown which she had custom made. Trevor, as is the custom arrived with his groomsmen in tow ready to play some games and “earn” the right to see his bride.  This is one of the most fun and awesome parts of a Chinese tea ceremony (which has different traditions from a Korean or Japanese tea ceremony).  First they guys had to “pay” to gain entry to the house and then they had to play a series of games including being fed baby food and an eating contest before Sara actually emerged to greet her groom and the tea ceremony itself would begin.  The actual tea ceremony involves many, many, many cups of tea poured and served to the bride’s parents, the groom’s parents and of course, the bride and groom itself.  I love being a part of a tea ceremony, first because it’s a very intimate ceremony, and a wonderful chance for the families and close friends to gather together in a more casual (and fun) way and see the coming together of two families.  But, secondly, I think that the concept of sharing food and drink is a universal concept and way of saying “welcome” and “thank you”, even if you aren’t a part of that culture.

After the tea ceremony was over, Karen took the couple down to the seaport for a fun little photo shoot.  Weren’t they just adorable? Coming up this afternoon, Sara and Trevor ’s western ceremony and reception.

I am still riding high off of our wedding this past Sunday at Caramoor Center for Music and Art.  Howie and Lisa came to us only about 15 weeks ago to work with them on their wedding.  This was a first for Always a Bridesmaid- not because their engagement was short, but because we’ve never worked on a rabbi’s wedding before.  Lisa is a rabbi and runs the conversion program at Central Synagogue.  This was a wedding that was just FULL of details! Fun, fabulous, details.  I wanted to share some of them with you because I hope that they inspire you!! I think that details don’t have to just add beauty to a wedding, they stand as tiny opportunities to add some more meaning to your day.

So, here we go!  As a couple, they had been to more than their fare share of weddings, and probably had a drawer full of kippah to show for it with couple’s names and wedding dates stamped on the underside.  As a couple, they are terribly witty, and rather than repeat this tradition letter for letter, they saw an opportunity for a chuckle. At a wedding with at least 20 rabbis and cantors in attendance, everyone would know what to do with their kippah right?  Well, just in case someone forgot….

Between them, as a couple, Lisa and Howie had a total of 8 loving parents and stepparents, all of whom were under the Chuppah. Along with that were nearly a dozen siblings! So, for the program, rather than the ins and outs of the ceremony, we offered “A Lineup” . Because they were only one page, we decided to place a pattern on the back, which mirrored their invitation. These were custom created by Smock with the help from Judy Paulen Designs at Bloomingdale’s.

Mayra, Rebecca and I were just in LOVE with Lisa and Howie’s Ketubah, which was designed by the same woman who created Chelsea Clinton’s ketubah (that was sheer coincidence, btw). I love this particular design for its beauty, but when I actually saw it up close I understood why it was ALSO the perfect ketubah for Chelsea’s interfaith wedding as it was written in Hebrew (as is traditional) but with English just beside it.

The couple was beyond excited for their Horah. We slated in a full 30 minutes for it. Being a summer, outdoor wedding, they kept saying “We want people to be drenched from sweat after this horah”…. So, in that spirit, we created sweatbands for people. Right before the music began, waiters from Great Performances came out onto the dancefloor with trays of wristbands that said “1. Place on wrists 2. Enjoy Horah” Clearly, it worked, because not only were people screaming like Justin Beiber had entered the tent, we had a crowd fully clad in white wristbands and out of breath when it was all over.

Of course, some details are simply there to be pretty, and, we love those too, so I’ll share a couple with you! We worked with Matthew Robbins on this wedding, who brought in 30 fabulous farm inspired tables. I’ll wait to share the full look and tablescape, but we utilized tiny silver coffee service trays as chargers, and replicated the design from the invitations on the menu cards, which were warmed up with just a sprig of pine.

And, the icing on the cake was… well, the cake itself! The incomparable Ron Ben Israel created this absolutely astounding cake. It was just amazing. Not only did it pull design elements from the invitations, but it tied in the silver details of the room along with the blue tones (the lettering was navy and silver) of the room decor. Truly delightful!

I never had any sisters, but growing up I was fortune enough to have a first cousin that was only 6 months older than me. We grew up together and got to do all of the things that sisters usually do together; wear horrible matching outfits, play dress-up, give each other horrible haircuts. You know, the usual. She married early and had two adorable children that have been a huge part of my life. SO, when she divorced and years later decided to re-marry, we were all very intent on making the kids feel a part of the ceremony. They loved their new step-dad and were exited about the wedding, and he and my cousin wanted to make sure that they felt that this was a ceremony that not only stated their new commitment to each other, but also his commitment to the kids. We decided that the kids should be in the bridal party. Since they were special they got to pick their own outfits, which made them both very happy. They also stood next to their mom and new step-father. We also had my young nephew hold the rings, and they both presented the couple with the rings.

Aren’t they adorable? In the end, these small gestures made them feel like they were included in the day and that they were a part of it all.

A few months ago, I helped a wonderful couple down the aisle. Our groom had a child from a previous relationship who they wanted to include in the ceremony. She was a huge part of their lives. Although she lived with her mother on the other side of the states, the couple would board a plane every other weekend to see her! She was most excited about serving as the flower girl, but we wanted to include her in a special way during the ceremony. We decided that they would ALL light a unity candle together to show that each of their lives would all be united. It was one of the most touching moments of the ceremony!

Some other great things that we have seen clients do are: having your children walk you down the aisle instead of a parent, including their names on the invitation, a family ring exchange, and a parental vow to take care of the children.

If you are planning to marry and have children from previous relationships, it might be helpful to sit down together as a family with your officiant to come up with different ways to include everyone during the ceremony!

When did the Electric Slide get a bad rap? Why is it that it sits right under the Chicken Dance on the “Do Not Play” list? I personally LOVE the Electric slide. I can’t remember the last family wedding where we didn’t play it. Okay, so we call it “El Caballo Doroado” and it sounds a lot like “The Achy Breaky Heart”, but it involves the exact same dance moves, and people pump their fists in the air and jump onto the dance floor when it starts to play.

Latinos aren’t the only group that tend to love Electric Slidin’ though. Not to generalize, but I have rarely been to or planned an African American, Flipino, or Caribbean American wedding where we didn’t get Electric. Not only is it NOT uncool, it is a must have that brings young and old alike onto the dance floor.

Case in point, I helped plan a baby shower for one of my oldest friends this weekend and midway through they had to bust it out.

So if you like the Electric Slide, please don’t be ashamed to say it. Play it loud and proud at your event. I promise people will dance! Some people might even pump their fist in the air:)

A few months ago I got a call from a lovely bride to be, Diane. She lived in Ireland and wanted to elope, but wanted to make sure that the wedding was special, and didn’t trust the internet when making decisions for such an important day. She wanted to have someone who she could talk to, who would guide her a help them create a wonderful wedding day from start to finish. I had worked on something similar before and LOVED it, so I was happy to come on board.

First, in order to set the tone for this wonderful vacation, we booked a suite at The Standard Hotel. Since we were essentially working on a wedding and honeymoon in one, we knew that the backdrop to this occasion should be special. The selling point? This freestanding tub overlooking the Hudson.

I wanted her “getting ready” experience to be special. Isn’t that part of being a bride? So we hired hair and make-up artist Maira Ortiz to glam her up. To ensure that she would love it on her wedding day, we also set up a trial as soon as she arrived in town. Maira (first name spelled different, but pronounced just like mine:) went all out on the wedding day and brought in her special chair and some upbeat music that made the process feel festive.

Next, we had to choose a setting for the actual wedding. After some back and forth, we opted for the Brooklyn Bridge. We hired Rev. Fleenor before the couple arrived in town, and they worked with him over email and with a few phone calls to create a ceremony that was unique to them. Even though it had rained all week, the skies cleared up for their picture perfect ceremony!

After the ceremony, a town car whisked them away to continue their photo session around the city with our photographer, Robert Wagner.We made sure to include the usual (Central Park) but also stopped at some places that had special meaning for them as a couple (Pastis, where they had been having every meal on their trip:).

After the photosession with Robert, we arranged for a private dinner for the happy couple at a fabulous restaurant in the city. Isn’t this a great way to get married? A day truly dedicated to each other. Congratulations to the happy couple!