I was saddened this week by the passing of Maurice Sendak, the amazing illustrator and author of “Where the Wild Things Are”. Growing up, it was one of my two favorite books, and I would read it over and over and over again. The story was fantastic, but the illustrations were the real magic.. leaving indelible impressions on my very young brain.  Illustration, done well, can convey whimsey and emotion…and not surprisingly has been embraced in the wedding world.  Below, a few of my favorite illustrated pieces of wedding stationery that I’ve seen on the net.

I LOVED these invites from Essie Letterpress! They reminded me of a Victorian era pharmacy advert. Probably the most sophisticated marriage of illustration on a wedding invitation I’ve seen. (via Oh So Beautiful Paper.)

These stunning programs featured illustrations of all of the wedding party… making it extra easy to ID key players and adding a bit of humor.(Via Martha Stewart Weddings)

I Love, Love, LOVE this next invitation because it’s romantic, witty and whimsical all at the same time! I can’t figure out WHO designed it, but I got it via Weddings Fresh

I never get tired of telling people that I am a native Californian. Or that I grew up in a teeny town in the Central Valley (frankly the only valley) surrounded by farmland. Xochitl and my fiance tease me about how often I can bring up a fruit reference. The thing that I miss the most about my hometown (besides the people) is being surrounded by an abundance of fruits and vegetables. My favorite time of year was always the end of summer where the tears grew peaches, apricots and nectarines. When it came time to pick wedding colors, the choice was obvious!

Now, the great thing about planning a wedding when this is your profession (and trust me there are a also a few bad things) is that I knew exactly what I wanted and who to call to help me with it. I turned to Meredith at Regas NY to help me create something unique and personal. Meredith works with us constantly and after helping us design our AAB Logo, she knows what I am drawn to and like. Now, it wasn’t easy! I knew that I wanted the invite to have the information within a “frame”, but was unsure about the pattern that I wanted surrounding it. Meredith was so patient as she presented us with a few different options. We wanted to see Mexican lace, abstract patterns and floral motifs, which all made the invite look different.

After a few rounds we were not quite sold on any pattern. While staring at all of the versions, Xochitl suggested that since we were having our ceremony at his alma mater, we should incorporate the Van Wickle Gates from my alma mater into the pattern. I feel in love as soon as I saw the design. I thought it looked a little like the human genome sequence, and that sold me! The fact that this is what it made me think of is what sold my fiance, and our invite was set!

But there was a problem. The other thing about growing up, was that everyone around me spoke Spanish. It was my first language and until I left for college, it was the main language that I spoke. It was only at school that I spoke English and Spanglish with friends. So, when it came time to choose invitations, I was at a bit of a loss. I could not accept that my invites would only be in English. However, how does one do a bi-lingual invite well? Should I make a fold over card? Should I print on both sides? Should I clutter the main invite with both versions? How to do this without making it look silly OR cleaning out the bank? Meredith presented me with the perfect option…a belly band!

The one thing that clients often have a hard time with, is the fact that when you are ordering invites you don’t get to see the actual invite before you approve your proof. This makes the process of custom very difficult for some people, as there are no versions that you can see before you order. I can tell you that as much as I loved my proof, I was blown away when the invites arrived at my door. The images below were taken with an Iphone, so they don’t quite reflect how lovely they are in person, but they exceeded my expectations.

And last but not least, I think that everything about your wedding can have a touch of your personality. Now that doesn’t mean that everything has to be expensive! I have used my lovely monogram on everything, so I decided not to use it on a stamp for the invites. Instead I choose a duo of Tejano star Selena alongside John H. Johnson, founder of Ebony and Johnson Publications.

Now, this process was a little more difficult than walking into a store and ordering out of a book, but I guarantee you that it was worth the process.

Last week Mayra and I were guests of a friend at a private wine pairing dinner at Black Mountain Winehouse in Brooklyn.  There were about 30 of us there, gathered at two long tables, and while we were in a group of four, after a Prosecco to start, an amuse paired with another prosecco, and an intriguing Sherry/ Soup combination, we were all lubricated enough to be quite loquacious with our neighbors.  By the time the Chocolate Three Ways came out with an amazing rose, we were fast friends with everyone else at our table and making plans to get together again in the neighborhood.

This got me thinking about just WHY it was so successful and how, the next time I have a client with families who don’t know one another well, a Wine Pairing dinner would be perfect.  First, because it’s an experience, it presents everyone with a chance to try new things.  Secondly, because it’s subjective without judgement (vs. say talking politics), each course and pairing presents a new topic of conversation amongst guests who may not know each other.  Finally, because it involves drinking, but controlled pours, they tend to get everyone feeling warm and fuzzy without being totally hammered.

If you have a larger crowd, you can consider simply hosting a wine tasting with some hors d’oeuvres, so that guests can mix and mingle and try different wines while interacting. Again, it’s so awesome because you can say “What did you think of that Merlot?” instead of the usual awkward Rehearsal Dinner chit chat of “So, how do you know Kelly? OH, College roommates, that must have been fun!”

Some of my favorite spots for these kinds of events?  The Brooklyn Winery is great for dinners and pairings or just tastings. And it has outdoor space available too! The Astor Wine Center is another awesome private space for tastings.  But, if you love the idea and have a great restaurant that you love that has a sommelier, it might be worth speaking with them about doing a private dinner with pairings.

The Q: I just got RSVPs from two different girlfriends of mine who are single and not dating anyone who filled in their card with their name and Guest. Actually, one girl wrote in her date’s name (a name I have never heard her talk about) and the other girl literally just said “and guest”.   I don’t know how to respond because on one hand I’m annoyed that they would be so rude, AND I don’t really want a random stranger at my wedding, but I also can put myself in their shoes and wouldn’t want to be alone. Do I confront them about it?  Should I tell them no?  If I tell them yes, do I ask for them to pay for their date?

The A: A common etiquette problem that we’ve gotten here and that I hear about all the time is when single guests are invited alone and then they reply that they are bringing a date.  It IS very rude for them to invite someone who wasn’t intended to be invited, made audacious mainly because they extended your invitation to someone else without clearing it first with their hostess. It isn’t a backyard BBQ, it is a wedding.

I think that almost every bride would, regardless of whether they ultimately OK’d it or not, so appreciate an email or phone call from the singly invited guest saying that before they responded formally, they wondered if they might be able to bring a date. Which, while awkward for you to be asked, at least makes it less presumptuous than the guest just deciding that they are bringing someone and you needing to then confront them about it after the RSVP.

However, that said, I’ve been wondering of late if this breach of etiquette isn’t sometimes a bit of a chicken and an egg issue. While by no means are you obligated to invite single guests with no known companion with a date, isolating singles across the board to be dateless should be done on a case by case basis.

What do I mean by that?  Well, if you know that most of your girlfriends are single and not dating anyone in particular, then I think by all means keep all the single ladies as exactly that, and they will probably hit the dance floor and have a ball.  That said, if you know that you have three single girlfriends and the rest of your friends are married and all of the guys there will be attached to dates as well… well, you may want to open up the possibility of including that small handful of single guests with an “And Guest”.  Ultimately, everyone wants your guests to want to attend your wedding and to end up having a great time.  If they don’t know other people, or feel awkward because they don’t have a dancepartner, etc. then it will probably be harder for them to loosen up and go with it.

So, back to your problem at hand.  Well, first, never, under any circumstances EVER allow a guest to pay for their date in order to bring someone else. That is simply the tackiest thing.  Even if they offer, it’s better for you not to say that.  So, if you decide NO, you don’t want their dates there either for budgetary reasons or on principle, and the guest offers to pay for a date, simply decline and say “It’s really more about wanting to feel that we know each and every guest at our wedding” or something kind of like that.

Ultimately though, you have every right to contact them and say “You know, and I”m so sorry to make this awkward, but I noticed you responded with a date, but the invitation was actually just for you as we’re trying to keep our guest count down.”  However, if you decide that these two guests probably would have a much better time with a date, or that maybe they are the only two of your friends that wouldn’t have dates, so what are two extra people….well, simply don’t say anything. There isn’t any reason for you to tell them about their “rudeness” only to say “but, you know what? It’s totally cool, bring the date.”

I am blessed to be constantly surrounded by people in love. This year, I am doubling my pleasure,and in the words of Chris Brown doubling my fun, because I am also happy to have a handful of friends exchanging vows. This means that my year will be extra filled with weddings!

Now, as a planner, it is amazing to get to go to weddings as a guest. Granted, I am pretty bad and will be one of the people that you will be chasing down for an RSVP (I forget! I know, I know…) but once there, I am an awesome guest. Now, not only is it great to enjoy the full day and be happy for our friends, but also it is nice to see what WE do notice at events. Sometimes it is easy to get caught up in details (especially for us) but it is nice to see the things that we love to see when we are the guests.

One thing that I LOVE is a magnet Save the Date. I feel a little like it is a guilty pleasure, but honestly there is nothing that makes me remember my friends weddings like a daily reminder every morning when I go to grab something out of the fridge. I appreciate paper as much as the next girl, and for everyone who has sent me a Save the Date on a beautiful card stock, please know that I marveled at it and showed it to my boyfriend and made him feel the paper and pretend to understand why I was so excited.  However, if you really want me to remember, a sticky is the way to go. Here are some of my suggestions!

I am pretty shy, and I am not a big fan of photos of me out in the world, so I would love to use something like this. Such awesome presentation and no need for a photo! I found these on Etsy.

Now, just because I hate photos doesn’t mean that YOU will :) I love that this photo is nice and big. It’s like having a photo of my pals smiling in the kitchen! This magnet is from our trusty friends at Magnet Street!

Now, I love the simplicity of this one. Nice, clean, detailed. I’m sold! Go to Wedding Paper Divas for this awesome Save the Date!

Want something a little less serious? What about something that will make your friends smile? What about something along these lines? You can find this on Savethedatemagnetscom!

What are your thoughts on Save the Date magnets?