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Hip, Fabulous Band Showcase This Monday

So, a few weeks ago I had the chance to check out The Hudson Project, an amazing new(ish) band on the wedding scene. I was blown away and am  SOO excited because we are going to be working together this coming weekend. Even though when I saw them at the showcase, it was an teeny tiny studio, I along with everyone else was dancing up a storm!!! You couldn’t keep me in my seat.
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This coming Monday, August 23rd, you can check out some more hip, totally un-cheesy wedding bands from  Elan Artists. It’s a pretty casual setting and the wine was free flowing (at least when I was there :-)

August 23rd, 2010

SMASH Studios
307 West 36th Street – 18th Floor

Rhythm Collective 8PM
Hip Variety from Classics to Contemporary

- check out this song list http://www.elanartists.com/rhythm_collective/audio/
- band wears fab 3 piece suits a la Mad Men…very hip, young and fresh

The Elements 8:45PM
80’s and Variety Crossover

- cool, super fun hipsters belt out your 80’s faves in additional to hits from every generation

Please RSVP to rsvp@elanartists.com

Mexican Traditions to Borrow!

A few years ago, (amazingly, two children ago!!) we flew to Mayra’s home town of California to work on and attend her brother’s wedding.  While we specialize in fusion celebrations, Mayra’s brother’s wedding was a traditional Mexican Wedding, punto. So, when I saw this lovely wedding on the Envelopments blog, I got a little misty eyed remembering Juan’s trip down the aisle, preparing for the nearly 500 guests that attended the reception and me, taking a late night  “nap”  after a few too many palomas and a hot day in the sun!

Maria, who works at Envelopments, and Carlos had a traditional Mexican ceremony, that included the laso, arras and of course, the sounds of Mariachi.

Screen shot 2010-08-18 at 10.27.28 AMScreen shot 2010-08-18 at 10.18.19 AMScreen shot 2010-08-18 at 9.12.46 AMA lot of the time, our clients seeking to infuse a Latino element to their wedding (or who just like the sound) will have us secure a Mariachi for their cocktail hour.  In traditional Mexican culture though, Mariachi are a major aspect of the ceremony.  In fact, ideally, the Mariachi come to where the bride is getting ready to serenade her before heading on to the ceremony.  Can you imagine how awesome those photo ops would be? Mariachi really make for fabulous ceremony music, and it is a great way to incorporate a cultural element into your day.

Another one of my favorite traditions from a Mexican wedding is a dance called La Vibora de la Mar. As far as cultural dances go, it is not as famous as the Horah or the Tarantella, but it is certainly as much fun!  The bride and groom stand on chairs and the groom holds the brides’ train or veil.  The guests, holding hands “snake” (vibora) through… it gets fast and furious and a little bit wild!

Obviously, since Maria works with Envelopments her invitations were just fantastic.  Here is a sneak peak, but you should DEFINITELY check out their website to see how they created this look as well as some of her other stationery pieces and more pics from her wedding.

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Do’s and Don’ts of Divorced Parents (Who Don’t Get Along)

The Q: “Hi:  My sister is getting married next summer, and I think she’s looking through rose-colored glasses when it comes to our parents, who split up when we were in grade school…My sister says, “They get along fine.”  Well, yes, they get along fine because they have absolutely zero contact.  They’ve spoken less than half a dozen times over the last 15 years.

Mom loathes stepmom, who she believes torpedoed her marriage to dad.  They have never spoken.  Dad and stepmom have two children who are almost teenagers; Mom has never met them and refuses to even talk about them….
I foresee a lot of tension and awkwardness, especially regarding pictures and seating.  My sister just believes that they’re all adults and will act nicely.  Do you think this is realistic?  What should she do to reduce the potential landmines in this situation?”  Thanks for your help, Sister of the Bride

The A: WOW!  Ok, no, I don’t think that this will be as smooth as your sister imagines, and in fact, to be honest, I am less worried about incident than I am about tension.  In general, specific to your situation, if at all possible, try not to have the wedding day be the very first time everyone is around one another.  I can’t foresee a leisurely dinner at your local bistro to toast the engagement, but at the very least, be sure to have a rehearsal and have all hands on deck at the rehearsal dinner. Better to get this out in the open and avoid any surprises.  We once had a bride who didn’t want her semi-estranged dad to walk her down the aisle, but no one told him that until we were at the rehearsal.  You could have cut the tension with a knife, but on the day of the wedding, everyone fell in line and knew exactly what to expect.

Speaking more generally, here are my “Do’s and Don’ts” to avoid Divorced Parent Disasters.

DO Delegate Planning Activities: Anticipate some tensions as you plan, especially if you were close to your stepmother. From the beginning, decide who is going to be a part of what. Give one person (probably mom) the attire”beat” and one the floral and personal flower beat.  Meaning, mom would be invited to dress shop and fittings, etc.  While step mom would come see floral sample (or invitations). Don’t get them both involved in all projects.  Also, if both Mom and Dad are contributing to the wedding financially, decide on what their budgets are and outline the areas that they will cover. This will prevent them from asking too much about “how much is your mother giving.

DO Educate your Parents about Etiquette: Talk with them IN ADVANCE about the concerns that you have and let them know how you want to handle things so that nothing comes as a surprise and you manage expectations in advance.  i.e.  “Step mom, I talked to a wedding coordinator, and she said that my mother is traditionally the last guest to sit at the reception before the bridal party enters, so let’s have you enter a bit before escorted by So and So.”

DO Remember MOM’s place: This is probably the MOST stressful area, because it’s when people feel the most on display. Three guidelines to make it clear cut.  Your mom is the last guest seated before the bridal party starts processing (unless it’s a Jewish ceremony when she should enter with you).  She is the first of the parents to recess at the end.  She is the first person announced into the reception(or simply skip this, and remove the stress) and if your mother is un-attached or without a date,she should always have a mutually pre-determined escort for all of the moments above.

DO Make a Shotlist and Timetable See preventative conversation, but also create a DETAILED shot list which outlines EXACT conversations and splits photos with mom’s side into a distinctly different shoot than photos with dad’s side. I suggest all photos being done in advance if possible, preferably close to the ceremony site (before alcohol is served) and assigning people different arrival times.  For instance the person with the smallest extended family is invited to arrive at 4PM at photo location (mom,Aunt Vera,Uncle Steve,Cousin Rob) followed by arrival the groom’s family and Dad at 4:15.  Have a quick photo (if you want it) of bride with both Mom and Dad, but avoid if not desperately necessary.  Mom is now free to mingle or return to bridal suite, etc.  at 4:30 have the extended family of your dad arrive.

DON’T Revise History They’ve had a long hard road together that has had an impact on everyone.  Don’t try to force a lot of togetherness and don’t sugar coat for your in-laws.  You don’t need to delve into details, but the more upfront you are with everyone about the coldness between them, the less stressful this will be for everyone (think preparedness)

DON’T Use this as a platform for Reconciliation This is ultimately about the joining of two people in love with a pledge for life.  Not a time to try and clear the air or forge bonds or mend fences.  Keep the focus on the wedding and don’t let others stray into that other territory either.

DON’T Make the Reception a “Parade of Toasts” Limit the number of people who will speak at the reception to the barest minimum.  I suggest just your best man and maid of honor.  Don’t open yourself up to dealing with negotiating hurt feelings or censorship of toasts.

Been Around the World…

I am constantly looking for ways to improve my apartment. So how excited was I when Xochitl sent me a Daily Candy post about  Suki Cheema, a new line of travel inspired home goods? VERY!

I love colors in theory, but in practice, I always find it difficult to pull the trigger. I need to start small. Which is why I loved these throw pillows. What a great way to add color splashes and make your living room a little more interesting!

pillowsThe site is still not complete, but I was on a role, so I started to look elsewhere for places to buy home goods that remind you of your travels. I came across a company named Ten Thousand Villages. This company works with artisans around the world by marketing their goods in North America.  My favorite part about this site is that you can see which artisan created the item that you have fallen in love with. This paperweight (which you can flip according to your mood) is made by an artisan in Haiti. I want this on my desk so that everyone in the office knows where they stand in the morning:)

paperweight

Everyone always makes fun of how much I love the color gold. I mean, I would totally wear it EVERY single day if I could (and honestly pretty much do). So, how excited was I when I saw this gold Owl Pouf on Global Home New York . This company, started by a couple who quit their corporate jobs to start their business, features pieces from around the world.

MetallicOwlPoufI also feel in love with these bins. Having a baby? Need something cool for your nursery? What about these adorable cotton toy bins to a help you keep your child’s toys nice and stylishly neat.

cottontoybinSo when you are registering for things for your home, consider going global in your approach.  It’s a nice way to add some character (and possibly personal relevance) to your interior.

A Family Affair

I never had any sisters, but growing up I was fortune enough to have a first cousin that was only 6 months older than me. We grew up together and got to do all of the things that sisters usually do together; wear horrible matching outfits, play dress-up, give each other horrible haircuts. You know, the usual. She married early and had two adorable children that have been a huge part of my life. SO, when she divorced and years later decided to re-marry, we were all very intent on making the kids feel a part of the ceremony. They loved their new step-dad and were exited about the wedding, and he and my cousin wanted to make sure that they felt that this was a ceremony that not only stated their new commitment to each other, but also his commitment to the kids. We decided that the kids should be in the bridal party. Since they were special they got to pick their own outfits, which made them both very happy. They also stood next to their mom and new step-father. We also had my young nephew hold the rings, and they both presented the couple with the rings.

Jacks&ChrisAren’t they adorable? In the end, these small gestures made them feel like they were included in the day and that they were a part of it all.

A few months ago, I helped a wonderful couple down the aisle. Our groom had a child from a previous relationship who they wanted to include in the ceremony. She was a huge part of their lives. Although she lived with her mother on the other side of the states, the couple would board a plane every other weekend to see her! She was most excited about serving as the flower girl, but we wanted to include her in a special way during the ceremony. We decided that they would ALL light a unity candle together to show that each of their lives would all be united. It was one of the most touching moments of the ceremony!

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Some other great things that we have seen clients do are: having your children walk you down the aisle instead of a parent, including their names on the invitation, a family ring exchange, and a parental vow to take care of the children.

If you are planning to marry and have children from previous relationships, it might be helpful to sit down together as a family with your officiant to come up with different ways to include everyone during the ceremony!

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