The Q: I love reading your blog and really appreciate the inspiration that I get from it.  The issue that I’m having though is that I’m getting  married in a relatively small town and I’ve found that the vendors that work in weddings here aren’t as inclined to take my ideas.  I’ve been told more than once about ideas for our reception that “that isn’t the way that things are done”.  How can you have a creative or unique wedding if you can’t get your vendors on board?

The A: I completely know what you are talking about… I used to call these kinds of reactions a meeting with Mr. or Ms. No. They seem like meetings from the twilight zone because everything that is brought up that is mildly “outside the box” (if that box had been manufactured in 1995) is seen as “impossible” or “not the way that things are done”.  For every amazing vendor out there always looking to push the envelope and go the extra mile for their clients, there are probably 2 vendors that really see this is as a formulaic job.  Perhaps it’s laziness, perhaps it’s a love of tradition, perhaps its simply habit from doing things the same way over and over again. Whatever the reason,  for the bride or groom (especially someone working without the help of a planner to help showcase how simple things that seem difficult can be) these kinds of negative meetings can be disheartening, because a) I think most couples are a little bit afraid of “doing something wrong” with their wedding and b) because the vendor appears as an “expert” in the situation, they usually get their way and opt to NOT go the extra mile.

Often, this is when normal brides either throw their hands up in the air OR, opting to go in another direction, get Bridezilla on the vendor.  This other route tends to not really be the most effective, since if you read this blog regularly, you know that you can get more wedding flies with honey than with vinegar.

My first suggestion for a meeting with a Mr. or Ms. No, is to never start it with “So, we had this idea and we were wondering if…”  I’ve found that in my dealings as a wedding planner, I always like to explain the raison d’etre for an idea, detail or request.  If I am asking for a banquet facility to skip the wedding cake and bring in a croquembouche, I might start out with “So, Bill and Sara have a huge affinity for things French. They met there while studying abroad and Sara’s family spends summers there.  It would really mean a lot to them to have a Croquembouche vs. a traditional American wedding cake.”  It is much harder to shoot down an idea when it is presented as more than something that you saw in a magazine that inspired you, and the real reason it inspired you.

Sometimes Mr. or Ms. No tells you that what you want to do (like dance with your mother instead of your father, or not dance between courses) is “just not the way that things are done”.  I always like to answer that one with a smile and “Well, I’ve never been that interested in what other people are doing”.  :-)  Seriously though, I think again, if you want to veer away from tradition, give your vendor some insight into WHY.  Not only will this usually make them less argumentative, but often it will make this detail stand out in their mind on your wedding day.  Your band leader, photographer, banquet manager is much less inclined to forget a detail of your day that strikes them as unusual, especially if they know it’s unusual for a specific reason.

Mayra and I called this company Always a Bridesmaid because we were always bridesmaids in weddings trying to create a newer, cooler, bridal shower.  It’s a big event for a bride: you have a vision, but so little control!  So, this is our way for your to drop your bridesmaids A BIG HINT and have A LOT OF FUN!
We’re partnering with the Morgan’s Hotel to host the swankiest, most inspiring, Fantasy Shower a girl could dream of, and you’re invited!  Bring a bridesmaid and sip champagne on the terrace of the Penthouse Suite at the Morgan’s.  Get special treats from Agent Provocateur, awesome ideas for gifts and games from Melangerie, and learn how to create gorgeous, simple floral displays from Jessy Wolvek of Fleurs.  If you RSVP before April 13th with the Code BLOGSMAID, your entry is complimentary.  Register here.

I am practically in tears because Jessy and the team from Fleurs did the MOST AMAZING flowers (both at their table AND for the event) and she didn’t bring a camera and MY Photos of her tables are terribly blurry- apparently I needed to set for candlelight, but didn’t.   Anyway, I’m going to track down photos, but here are some of amazing, inspirational photos from some vendors I hadn’t met before and familiar faces.

Leslie of Mark Joseph Cakes showed the most lovely cakes. The yellow is soooo sweet.
Greenwich Jewelers wowed us with their amazing designs. They will also refurbish and re-design pieces.  Here is one of their gorgeous rings.  Mille Fiore created this amazing piece with cherry blossoms…. Cake Alchemy (they do that show on the food network, Ace of Cakes, I think? NO, i just checked her site and she is on AMAZING WEDDING CAKES) showcased some gorgeous creations, including this very cool tropical cake!  And, Colin Cowie lifestyle wowed me with Carnations (and made us feel good about using carnations at our table).

At our Always a Bridesmaid table we raffled off a 10 Hour Consulting package AND I’m pleased to announce the lucky winner is Beckett Fabbie!  We’ll be getting in touch with you ASAP!
Mayra and I love this event because we get to meet brides, AND meet new people and connect with our vendor friends. We get glammed up (thanks Luis for hooking me up. He’s the greatest, and I recommend him strongly. He’s at the Chanel counter at Saks and available for wedding day makeup) and My Hair and Makeup glammed Mayra up .

Some of the great people we got to spend some time with are (top to bottom): Jessica Alton of Thomas Preti Events to Savor; Cheree or Cheree Berry; the stunning (and glowing newlywed) Lisa Hoffman of CECI with Ron Ben-Israel; Kate Diago of CECI, the talented photographer Mel Barlow, Eyal Tessler of In Any Event, Lisa, Ron, fabulous Mayra and me and the most ridiculous expression on my face; Mayra and Marcy Blum; Mark Ingram.  LOL, it’s like NY Wedding Diary. ;-)

I’ve spent the whole day getting ready for tomorrow’s New York Weddings event!  We’ll be showcasing a fabulous table top “Look for Less” and raffling off 10 hours of consultation services ($1,000 value- and that’s no April Fool’s Joke!). I ‘ll be announcing the winner on our blog on Thursday.  Plus, we have a special invitation to attendees tucked inside the gift bag!
Our new friend Marcy Blum will be there, along with commonly mentioned names on Always a Blogsmaid like CECI, Christian Oth, Elan Artists, Mark Ingram, Pronovias, Ron Ben-Israel, Milk and Honey Video, Shiraz Caterers…. and the list goes on and on and on!  And there are tons of other vendors who I haven’t met yet.

I think I mentioned before that participating in this event feels like rings on the tree of our business, and it has such a sentimental place in my heart.  We met Jessy of Fleurs there a few years ago (who is providing all the flowers for the event and has been
designing day and night) and always get to connect with brides and meet some readers. So Mayra and I will be on hand to answer any questions, and generally have a great time.  If you were going to be there, please come by and say hi!  If not, I’ll be posting pics!  Oh, and not too late to get tix!