The Importance of Being Nice

Posted by on Mar 1, 2010 in Blog | 6 Comments

A couple of weeks ago I had lunch with a photographer I’ve done some work with over the last couple of years. We were reminiscing about some past weddings we did when we started discussing an absolutely horrible bride that we’d both experienced a few years back.  Most of my clients are totally lovely, but of course, every once in a while someone comes along who reminds you of why the phrase Bridezilla was invented.

This colleague and I were laughing because we were confident that the bride had no idea that instead of being necessarily “effective” in extracting our best work, she’d simply made herself notorious!  We never forgot her.  I don’t remember a ton about how her wedding was, if her guests had fun or whatever else happened, but I distinctly remember her yelling at her family members moments before going down the aisle. Similarly true is it whenever I get together with a certain florist and photographer from the wedding where the bride freaked out about the weather (it started to rain and we wanted to move ceremony inside) that she pushed the videographer out of her way before banishing the photographer from the room.

I&B-207As you get into the thick of the wedding planning, especially those of you out there NOT working with a wedding planner/ buffer remember that there are moments when you will feel overwhelmed or perhaps confused or perhaps (and I hope NOT) slightly like you are being “taken for a ride”…. (I know that old refrain of “Why is it when you say the word “wedding”, everything costs more). When those moments come up, take a breath, count to ten and THEN do your best to have a calm conversation where you verbalize what it is that is overwhelming or frustrating you.  Brides who have tantrums are more often than not the dreaded phone call that a vendor avoids vs. the bride that everyone wants to go the extra mile for because you are just “SO sweet!”.

Actually, I can’t tell you how many times towards the end of the night I’ll be in the back of the room with a bunch of vendors who say “You know, I normally wouldn’t have added “blah blah blah” in, but they were just the NICEST people.” or “I’m supposed to leave at 10, but I’ll stick around and get some more footage of them dancing- they are such a sweet couple”.

Obviously, when you hire a great team of vendors- true professionals- they are going to give you great service whether you are Satan in a bridal gown or Belle from Beauty and the Beast… But wouldn’t it be nice to think that when it’s all over everyone’s memories about you were as great as your memories about your day?

BTW, the picture here is of one of our most LOVELY brides, Irene, who was SO nice (and hilarious) that after her wedding we invited her to be in our book club.  Hahahaha, because that’s the moral of this story girls…. Be nice and you too can be invited to be in your wedding planners book club- the hottest social spot in town! That made ME laugh!!


  1. Gina
    March 1, 2010

    It is so true! I work in customer service and I’m always doing little extras for people who are so nice to work with.

  2. Dutch Bride
    March 2, 2010

    Who wants to be remembered as the bride who yelled? I think most o her family and friends will think of her behavoiur when they think of her wedding. What a shame! :)

  3. miss christine
    March 2, 2010

    Thank you for the most wonderful post!!! You said exactly what I’ve thought a million times. I’ve been a wedding photographer for over 20 years and my hubby is a wedding officiant, together we’ve been part of over 3000 weddings since 1987….in that time, we can’t say we’ve seen it all, but darn near!!
    Your sentiment, advice and stories ring true beyond words!

    I would like to link your post in my next blog post :)


  4. Precious Occasions
    March 3, 2010

    So true…I bend over backwards for sweet clients and typically stay away from those who may create unnecessary stress and be a road block in me doing what I’m hired to do. Great blog entry!

  5. Tee
    March 4, 2010

    As a future bride and someone who does’t cope well with stressful situations, I’m terrified that I’ll turn out to be a bridezilla.

    I definitely don’t want to be remembered as the “screaming bride” and will do my best to keep things in perspective and let my typical sweetness shine through. :)

  6. Juliet Douglas
    March 30, 2010

    The saying “treat others as you would like to be treated” is so true. I strive to provide the best possible service to ALL of my clients but will definitely bend over backwards for clients who are as sweet as pie to me!

    May I join your book club?


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